Saturday, November 01, 2008

I Didn't Make It to See Him - Rest in Peace Papa

Me with my Papa on Christmas in 2007

I had my alarm set to get up and go with my DH to see my grandpa before DH left for work today. Unfortunately I waited until it was too late. My grandpa, better known by me as Papa, passed away sometime this morning in the rest home.

My mom called me about 10 minutes to 8 o'clock this morning. I knew when the phone rang and saw the caller ID that it was not good news. My mom is a night owl like me so anytime I hear from her before noon I know that something is up.

I'm really sorry I didn't get to see my Papa before he passed away. I had some things I wanted to tell him even if he didn't know me. I needed to tell him those things.

I admit that I am one who is not always faithful about stopping to say my bedtime prayers. I struggle often with remembering at night to say my prayers before I go to sleep.

I had a lot on my mind last night when I went to bed. A lot going through my mind and I was having a hard time falling asleep. I'm sure part of that was my Halloween night candy and sugar consumption. About 30 minutes after laying down for bed it dawned on me that I NEEDED to say my prayers. In those prayers one of the things I prayed for was God's forgiveness for not going to see my Papa and forgiveness for my feelings towards him and my grandma regarding the issues I wrote about in my previous "Crappy" post.

I'm still sad that I didn't get to go see him and just say those words I need to say, I just hope he knows now that I forgive him for things he did while on this Earth and that I loved him and I'm sorry for not being there when I should have been.


Midnite Scrapper said...

Cathy, I could hardly finish reading your post because of the tears in my eyes. I was just talking to a lady in my congregation today about forgiveness. You did right to ask for forgiveness. Even if someone does not "merit" forgiveness, it is right for us to give forgiveness. Hugs and prayers for you all.

Michele said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure your grandfather knows how you feel! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family

Amanda said...

I have no words... (((HUGGS)))