2012 Thankful November Day 1 - Being Alive

A few years back I was prompted by some friends on an Internet message board I frequent to participate in a blog challenge.  The challenge was to post at least one thing I was thankful for each day of November.  It made me really examine and appreciate both the big things in life that I am thankful for as well as to think about the little things in my life that are to be appreciated that I sometimes tend to overlook, and on days when I wasn't having such a great day it made me dig inside myself to find something, at least one tiny thing, good about that day.

Today as I was on Facebook I noticed a lot of friends starting this challenge again as status update posts, so I am once again prompted to join them each day during the month of November in posting the things in my life for which I give thanks.  Rather than filling up my Facebook page with my daily postings I have decided to post them here on my blog and then link my post to my page.  

I attempted to challenge myself last year, but I admit I wasn't good about keeping up with my daily thankful posts.  I am hopeful that I will meet my goal of daily posting this November.

Thankful November Day 1:

Today I am thankful for life.  I can't express how much I appreciate living, breathing, having a mostly healthy body, and for being here on this earth with my husband, and being able to share my life with him, my parent's, and all of our extended family, friends and loved ones.

Two years ago on this day I was staying at my parent's home, pretty much in solitary confinement, confined to one bedroom and a bathroom after having undergone Radioactive Iodine Therapy treatment for Thyroid Cancer just a few days prior to the first of November.  I was in confinement for 7 days due to being radioactive.  I wasn't allowed to leave home, eat with my family, see my two cats, or be near anyone for more than just a few minutes and even then I had to keep my distance.  This meant not seeing my husband for an entire week.  No daily hugs or kisses from him or anyone else and lots of time spent alone.  It gave me a lot of time to think and to be thankful, even then, when I was so uncertain what my future would hold or if I would even have a future. 

Two years ago I learned a lot about myself, about life, about love, and about being thankful for all I have been given by the good Lord up above.  That time in my life changed me forever, and I hope it made me a better person, a more appreciative one.

I don't just take life for granted anymore, and now I know without a doubt that bad stuff can happen to ANYBODY.  Up until my Thyroid Cancer diagnoses two years ago I lived a pretty charmed life, but I certainly did not always appreciate or realize the value of living such a great life.  I now understand that we never know our fate and what each day may hold.  It doesn't matter what your age or status in life is,  as the saying goes, "sometimes shit happens," and "bad things happen to good people," and we just have to learn to deal with it and be thankful we are here and able to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wake up every day with bells on and a smile on my face ready to face the day thinking it is going to be perfect and wonderful.  I still have my moments when I get grumpy, am short with people I love, and I don't always show my most charming side to everyone, but two years later and cancer free, I do try and remember more often than not how very lucky I am to be on this earth and how very lucky I am to be surrounded with so many people who love me and who believe in me.

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So Very Thankful to God, So Very Relieved

As some of you may know, I recently found out I have a Dermoid Cyst on my left ovary and will be having surgery to have it removed in about 3 of weeks.

I was told by my doctor that in most cases Dermoids are benign, but just as a routine measure and to make extra sure I was sent for blood work to make sure that there was no sign of it being cancerous.

Despite the slim chance of it being a cancerous cyst I have to admit that I have been worried and on pins and needles waiting for my blood work results.

Today my doctor called to answer a question I had regarding my upcoming surgery. I wasn't available to answer the phone, but my DH took the call. Doctor gave the answer to my question to my DH and while on the phone with him also informed him that all my blood work came back normal.

I heard the tail end of the conversation and realized that my DH was on the phone with my doctor. The minute I heard my DH reconfirm with the doctor that my blood tests were all normal I started to cry. I was so relieved! What a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Now all I have to do is get through my surgery with flying colors, one less cyst, both ovaries intact, and then I can get on the road to recovery and hopefully the road to motherhood.

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There Really Is No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

Whoever said that there is no such thing as a free lunch was right. It might not cost you in dollars and cents, but you will pay the price somehow.

As you may have already figured out from reading my blog I am on a quest to loose weight and live a healthier life. I'm proud of myself. I've been doing pretty good at sticking to my goals of eating at home and eating healthier foods, but the past few days I haven't done so great.

I started my weight loss journey last week. I weighed myself on Friday to record my starting weight. On Tuesday morning I weighed myself again. I had lost 1 1/2 lbs. and was very proud of my achievement. However, Tuesday's and Wednesday's are Greg, my husband's, days off from work, so I already knew in my mind that on those days I would consider them my free days. I'd still try and watch my food choices, but not be so restrictive on myself. If he and I wanted to eat out for dinner, I would eat out and choose what sounded good to me. I would just try to watch what I ate the rest of the day.

Well, on Tuesday we decided to have Greg's parents over for a deli sandwich dinner. We knew we were going to Stockton for the day to check out a couple of wholesale paper supply companies to see what they have that we might be able to use once we get our business rolling, and we knew we would be near our favorite Italian deli, Genova Bakery. Whenever we are in Stockton near Genova we almost always stop in for a loaf of crusty sourdough bread and some of their delicious deli meats. Tuesday was no different. Instead of eating a healthy dinner, I ended up having a huge deli sandwich filled with provolone cheese, salami, ham, mortadella, and capicola. Plus I had chips and dip to boot. As you can imagine I was on fat & calorie overload.

On Wednesday, I was bad because I didn't eat much all day long until dinnertime. By then both Greg and I were hungry and we decided to go out for Mexican food. I ate my fair share of chips, salsa and guacamole, then proceeded to polish off a cheese enchilada, a taco, and rice & beans. By that night I was really noticing how bad eating wrong can make me feel. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a lead weight and I had no energy.

Thursday I knew I had to get back on the weight loss wagon, but I had one last free meal planned. We have a Red Robin restaurant opening in town next week and this week they are in training. Last week my mother-in-law called to tell me she had an invitation for 4 to go try out the new Red Robin and help them with their training. The meal was free so she asked if Greg and I would like to join her. I LOVE Red Robin's hamburgers, so of course I jumped on the offer. Plus, who can pass up a good free meal and the chance to brag to friends that you got an exclusive offer to have a free lunch. Not me!

Thursday at 11 a.m. I set out on my trek to get my free Red Robin lunch (combo breakfast/lunch since I hadn't ate yet) before I had to get back in touch with my healthy eating & weight loss goals. Lunch was great! We all really enjoyed our meals and we were all very impressed with the service even though they were still in training. I finished my meal and knew that I had to get back to eating right.

After my "free weekend" and my high calorie lunch I knew I had no room to spare so I ate a sensible Weight Watchers frozen dinner and a big healthy salad for dinner. It's a good thing I did too, because this brings me back to the whole point of this story. There really is no such think as a free lunch. Even though I didn't have to pay for my Red Robin lunch, it cost me, as did my "free" weekend of eating.

My bad food choices over the past three days cost me a precious pound that I had worked so hard the previous 4 days to loose. When I hopped on the scale today for my weekly weigh-in I was only down only 1/2 lbs. from where I was at last Friday instead of the 1 1/2 lbs. that I was down on Tuesday.

I'm not totally discouraged, as I knew in the back of my mind that I was giving myself too much freedom with my food choices. However, it was a good lesson learned for me. I now realize that even on my "free weekends" I still must make wise food choices, otherwise all of my hard work the rest of the week will be wasted and I'm the only one who has to pay the price for my bad choices!

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If I set my mind to it I WILL loose weight and be healthy!

I have decided to dedicate a part of this blog to sharing my journey to weight loss and better health. I am extremely overweight and have been overweight since childhood. Frankly I am tired of living life in this miserably fat body of mine. I see so many people who are healthy and physically fit and are able to enjoy their day to day lives without the restrictions that being overweight causes one to have. I want to become one of those people. I am SICK and TIRED of sitting on the sidelines watching life pass me by! I want to be able to enjoy activities like going to the beach, swimming, taking scenic walks, flying on an airplane without worrying that I might not fit in the plane seat comfortably, and taking in all that this world has to offer me. I don't want to miss out on all the things I see that I'd like to do. I no longer want to let life pass me by and then someday have to look up and say that I missed it all because I was too lazy and lacked the self-control to make my life better. I don't want to die young because I was too stupid and lazy to care enough about myself to take the measures to help me live a longer life. I want to be healthy so that my husband and I can have children of our own before we are too old to do so, and once I have those children I want to be able to play with them and teach them how to do things without having my weight restrict me from keeping up with them. I want to be healthy enough to live a long life and see my children have children of their own. I want to be sitting on a porch with my husband rocking in a rocking chair and have someone call me Grandma and him Grandpa someday. Unless I make DRASTIC changes in my life RIGHT NOW this is a vision that will NEVER be a reality for me. I MUST take the steps today to make it a reality! Taking control of my health and my weight is ABSOLUTELY essential to my happiness, my well being, and my future!

The following is a copy of a response to a thread I posted on Scrapshare. One of the members, purplesockslady and I were emailing about teaming up as online weight loss buddies and she suggested starting a thread so that other's could join us in our efforts to support each other as we work on loosing weight.

My ultimate weight loss goal is to loose 123 lbs. I would love to do this by my anniversary in October of 2007. Of course, my husband and I also want to start a family, so even if I do not loose that much weight by then, I would at least like to loose enough to help me have a more healthy pregnancy should I get pregnant in the coming months. I know I shouldn't diet while trying to get pregnant so I will concentrate on eating healthy foods rather than eliminating a lot of different foods.

I need to eat breakfast everyday and to eat home cooked meals at least 4-5 days a week or more. Because I am so out of shape I know that I can't go all out on an exercise program, but I'd like to try and start walking or doing some type of cardio exercise at least 20-30 minutes 3 times a week. As I get more and more in shape then I hope to increase my exercise.

I've been overweight since childhood, but it has gotten progressively worse over the past 5 or 6 years. I probably have packed on an extra 10 to 15 lbs a year since I got married almost 5 years ago. I've let it sneak up on me, but I have not been good about taking off the pounds I pack on. I have really packed on the pounds since April. I've probably put on 8 - 10 lbs. easily in the past 4 months, and I feel horrible! The worst I've ever felt because of my weight. Since that time I've been eating out probably 5-6 days a week and eating dinners alone because my husband is working nights. Because I'm alone I've gotten lazy about cooking at home, and I have a hard time thinking of what I can cook for one without having a lot of extra food left over, so I tend to go all day without eating much. Come dinner time I'm starving so I don't want to take the time to cook and I just go all out on a big fast food or take out meal. I have been horrible about eating take-out or fast food meals, and I've noticed I've become a boredom eater too. I've especially started hitting the sweets, which is something I never really did before.

I have to say that for the first time in my life I really do feel like I'm out of control when it comes to my eating and gaining weight, but I know that I HAVE to take control of myself RIGHT NOW or I will DIE YOUNG and never have that chance to have a family of my own!

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